Instant Shamrock (A Tour of Modern Ireland)

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INSTANT SHAMROCK (A Tour of Modern Ireland) The hills in Ireland, the Irish call them Ireland, are to be found the ruggedest mountains, are of modest elevation (Car- hills, with a climate at least as severe as rantvohill, the highest in all Ireland, is the Tararuas, bare, windswept hills. I only 3414 feet), and for the most part penetrated these hills and camped at the are gentle, rolling moorland hills. This is Devil's Punchbowl, an apt name for an not to say they are easy, guarded as they extinct glacial cirque with a large tarn are by the atrocious weather, notorious promising shelter. bogs, and shrouded in mists. Camping on rough ground in Ireland is difficult, the ground is either so soft "How can you buy Killarney?" asks that pegs will not grip, or so thinly the song. Very easily. Take sufficient covered bed-rock that pegs will not penetourist dollars, and although you may not trate more than a couple of inches. buy Killarney you may take its soul and Similarly, anchoring rocks available are leave it another tourist infested dump, of two sizes, too large and too small. as genuinely Irish as a cardboard replica I made my tent as secure as possible and ofa leprachaun. Fortunately, this process for good measure anchored the main is still in its early stages, and in the guy to a large boulder of at least 100 lb. environs of Killarney, given good weight. During the night I was attacked weather, is some of the finest scenery by a ferocious storm, and although in the Shamrock Isle, and much of his- sheltered from the main blast, gusts of toric interest. The climate is similar to considerable turbulence, heralding their Wellington with strong wind and rain, approach with a 30-second roar like an mild winters and cool summers. Palms oncoming express train, would strike, and similar to the New Zealand cabbage tree the tent would be blown in every direcflourish near the town. South of Kil- tion at once. One of these gusts caused a larney, in the extreme south-west of tent pole to shoot through the nylon fabric and land 20 feet away, thus becom- Saints Day, to scare away all the bogeying the first sub-orbital missile to be men. Dublin cyclists celebrate Halloween launched in Ireland. However, the tent by playing crazy mixed-up Beatle-type ballooned under pressure, remained up- music through a distortion box whose right. When order was restored, a more raucous volume is exceeded only by its severe gust lifted myself, tent, ground- extremely low fidelity. This is a modern sheet and pack, and then set us down a efficacious method of exorcising witches, few feet away in a disorganised heap. hobgoblins, devils and music lovers. When I got out the tent blew away, The arrival of a tramping party caused dragging its anchor boulder, with me, still a change in the balance of power. In fine in my sleeping bag shasing it in the voice they sang revolutionary Irish songs fashion of a sack race. about the rebel Kevin Barry. Thus com- After a tactical withdrawal to Kil- menced the battle Beatles versus IRA. larney to dry out, I battled across the The IRA won. wind-swept plateau of Purple Mountain At Ballinclea Y.H. I was roped in to to Black Valley, the wettest place in baby sit. This was a traumatic experience Ireland, and stayed at its primitive youth for both of us. All my attempts to amuse hostel. Next day in an attempted cross- the blighter only made me feel more ing to Glencar, I was unable to cross a foolish and the baby yelled louder. My flooded stream and returned to Black training at the halloween party came in Valley. The weather was little better the useful so that the child succumbed to following day, but by making a double exhaustion first. crossing of McGillycuddly's Reeks, a fine Avghavannagh Y.H. is a fine old buildridge walk in good weather, I was able ing, originally a barracks to suppress the to reach Glencar. From Glencar I set rebellous Irish, later a shooting lodge for off in fine weather for Carrantuohill, but the statesman Parnell. I was kept awake ere I reached the summit the weather by creaks and groans and door slamwas back to normal. Near Killarney the mings, which had I been superstitious, I hedgerows had been heavy with black- would have attributed to supernatural berries, so that in some places one could causes. pick a pound without moving, but on my From Wicklow to Achill Island on the return I found they had rotted on the west coast. To the west of Achill are bush. cliffs which I was told are the highest South of Dublin lie the Wicklow Hills. in Europe. Throughout the breadth of The combination of Irish cooking and the Atlantic there is nothing to challenge Irish weather was too much even for my the winds that rake 3000 miles of ocean oft abused but uncomplaining stomach, until they are defied by Achill Island. which rebelled so that an easy seven-mile In calm weather I surveyed a panorama walk to Glen Cree was hell with my in- of land and sea entwined, to the delight sides protesting at every step. I tried to of the eye and uplift of the mind. To the sleep it off, but no sooner did I curl up west-nothing until one reaches America, behind a hedge than the rain began. The on the mainland-the holy mountain warden at Glen Cree Youth Hostel was Crough Patrick from whose summit St. a kindly motherly old lady, who stoked Patrick cast out all the snakes in Ireland, up the fire to such proportions that I in the bay 365 islands, except in leap left the common room; and my socks, year when there are 366, looking like so which had been hung to dry despite my many whales. With a feeling of false protests, to scorch on the line. security, I camped, poor ignorant fool! My next objective was Glendalough, During the night the wind came up. an ecclesiastical centre before Canter- and your chicken-hearted author let down bury, after the fall of Rome left Europe the tent, leaving himself to the mercy to the mercy of pagan hordes. It has the of drenching rain that followed. Next remains of seven churches and a round morning, battling against the wind, I tower. The weather was calm with re- found myself, to my horror, not walking flections in the lake, but later the same but running towards the highest cliffs day I arrived at Glenbride Y.H. wet, in Europe. I stopped by sitting down bedragled and windblown to find the ignominiously on soggy ground that went hostel bursting at the seams with hos- squelch. tellers. An old campaigner, I found a The rest of my trip was much the bed first and signed in afterwards. To- same. In five weeks I had four fine days. night there was to be a Halloween Party, It was hell. I enjoyed it. this is traditionally held on the eve of All NORM CLARKSON.