The Orongos, They A'int Wot They Used to Be

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THE ORONGOS A'INT WOT THEY USED TO BE. Dear Editor, I am penning a few lines on my tripewriter = "hunt and peck system"- to ask if some thing could be done about the Orongrongos. I mean its very civilised to wot it uster. be with telephones ringing all day so that you cant get on with fixing the stoo, you get interuption after interuption and then you hvter light your tilley lamp to see if the socks have fallen in - the stoo I mean - or if the've schorched enough to have to weer*three pairs at once. Jocking apart dear editor, the first time I went over the Gutzbuster - it didn't bust me gutzs so I decided to go.from the catspole to Wairanga and there were some artists blokes there who looked me up and abart bekause I had tartan trowsers on - and I thought well I'd rather sleep on the river bank than stay HERE with snonty artists thank you and made my way up stream not getting wet because my boy friend carried me over the deep parts and we made a camp under the tea trees which enticed us to drink tea all the time. It was a lovely balmy night - the stars blink all the timei and we had a blinking good night - no huts no tracks which is just wot Strett is always advokating. TIME MARCHES ON - I did not go to,the Crongorongo rebob for a while 1 a very long while - the Gutzbuster is still there - the catspole is still there I Jacobs ladder is STILL there - Wairanga is still there and wots more loked up - and we stay at a grouse hut called Pawa. Dear Editor - it has a Ping Pong Table - it has cream walls and cream benches picked out in green I it has curtains - it has a tilly lamp or coleman I dont know the makes of lamps very well I it has a telephone which rang from the minute I set foor in the hut I it has every thing even the KITCHEN SINK. The telephone system is run on dits and dahs and I would be cutting up the meat to throw in the billy and it would be dit dah dit or dah dah dah and I didn't know if I was throwing in carrots or onions when they made me cry or saying This is dit one carrot dah two onions when I answered - or whether I put the Pawas in the stew or on the fire. However I managed to survive the night even though the tilly and/or coleman made all the blokes stay up and play 500 and then John Wood came in after going to a Satterday party at the naybours, the naybours living up a bull. dozed road at the end of which is a green hut. Yes John Wood throws two logs on the fire cerash cerash - one boot on the floor PLONK 2nd boot on the floor PLONK and says in the morning he hopes we all noticed how quiet he was. The next day to restore my faith in the Orongorongo rebobs I wander off to find a station of some kind - not a railway one or herd testing but something to do with possums and theres a bath and a copper ready to put in and a big house and a littler one - and people walking round in slippers and I give up dear Editor I think I till take a walk up Lambton Quay next Satterday, it may be quieter. Could we not have a campaign to "BACK TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS." Tartan Trowsers.