A Bit of Whack and Dangle with the Great Gonzo

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A Bit of Whack and Dangle with the Great Gonzo Miss Piggy It was the Gonzo's idea originally. "Let's Running short of food, the other party go and do some real climbing! East face left the hut on the 20th and proceeded Mount Sefton, The Hooker face of Cook, down the glacier in whiteout conditions. The Balfour face of Tasman, ah! how can Something we didn't envy one little bit. we fail!! tomorrow the Trango Towers, The idea of falling in a slot in those K2! let's go! go! whoo! whoo! whoo! conditions wasn't very appealing at all. They made it as far as Gardiner and spent Wiping the sweat from his fevered brow, the night there. and ceasing his restless pacing, the Gonzo At 6.30 the next morning the weather had meditated. "Money!! it'll all take cleared and we proceeded to follow them money of course, overdraft is the only down, a short steep climb up to Harper answer as I don't have any at the moment". Saddle providing a much needed change from the rigours of pit bashing. We arrived And so brothers and sisters into overdraft at Gardiner after practising crevasse we went. The money flowed, the gear extraction and avalanche evasion to the piles grew. Nervous tension increased, point where the Gonzo and I were quiversweating and restless pacing gave way to ing wrecks. Our problems were alleviated long earnest investigations into psych when we caught up to the other party who and reason. Just when it seemed that made a great job of difficult route chaos, anarchy and general insurrection finding through the lower half of the were about to prevail, departure day glacier icefall. Two hours later we arrived and we set off, arriving at Unwin arrived at the end of the white ice and hut on the evening of 14.12.79. proceeded down valley to the public bar of the Hermitage. We headed up the Hooker Valley on the 15th and spent the day sweltering in tropical After a suitable period of recuperation temperatures which made any form of exersampling the delights of civilisation we cise, apart from horizontal shade seeking, packed up our gear and set off to the unbearable. Empress hut was full so we Godley, having The Lawrence of Godley and spent the night at Gardiner. (This was his trusty companion Ricky Ben-Abdul to a fatal mistake as our quota of fine meet up with en route. We drove up by weather ran out not long after). Range Rover and were duly deposited at Red Stag hut. Three hours later The Gonzo Empress hut appearing on the skyline next and his crew staggered into Godley hut morning, silhouetted against the South laden down with two weeks food and gear, face of Hicks, was a welcome sight after fatigued and weary from fording numerous the trudge from Gardiner. It being too fast flowing tributary streams and late to consider a climb, we checked out extremely footsore from load carrying the approaches for an all-out assault on in Superguides. the Hooker face of Cook (our main objective) and made ourselves comfortable. No sooner had we arrived at the hut than it started to rain. (A party had left the hut earlier in the morning to attempt a Grand Traverse and Thirty six hours later and it was still were fated to spend the next five nights raining. The gentle stream in the centre on and just below the summit rocks, of the gravel fan on one side of the hut culminating in a controversial rescue by was now a boiling torrent of muddy brown helicopter. Apparently one of the party water stretching a hundred yards across. resented the concern for his welfare and As we watched, boulders and stones were would have preferred to stay where he was). hurtled skyward by the force of the water. Panic!! A sudden deviation saw the radio We woke at midnight for our attempt but aerial and the toilet threatened by the thoughts of climbing were dissipated by flood waters. (A sudden thought caught the drop in temperature and general us all at the same time - why should it weather deterioration. It started to stop at the toilet?). Just when it snow heavily, the wind reached gale seemed that the lads were doomed, without proportions, and ice began to form on setting foot on ice or snow, Huey relented the metal fittings in the hut. and the downpour ceased. "Doom, Doom!!" said the Gonzo and I It was Boxing day when we climbed 2,000 couldn't help but agree with him. However feet above the terminal lake and checked four other climbers arrived to keep us out the route down to the glacier ice. company and things didn't look so bad. Talk about hair raising Trev! Sheer As the storm progressed and the hut moraine wall with the consistency of plum threatened to leap down on to the glacier duff liberally sprinkled with boulders with us in it we were glad of the extra ranging from egg to house size just waitweight. ing to precipitate into the lake. The descent was nerve wracking and it was a We arrived on the evening of Monday, subdued group which gathered at the lake- 30.12.79, and collapsed at Unwin hut yet side prior to heading up the glacier. again. The next morning we headed up the As we travelled on the weather deterior- Tasman Glacier bound for De La Beche hut. ated once more, forcing us to bivvy under a large boulder on the medial moraine. On New Years day we climbed the Minarets This was to be our home for the next three in brilliant sunshine and almost perfect days while we waited for a chance to climb climbing conditions, after more than two Mount D'Archiac. The chance never came weeks waiting. and we cut our losses and decided to head back to Mount Cook. Next day - back to scale the dizzy heights of city life.