If This is the Garden of Eden, I'll Take the Apple

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IF THIS IS THE GARDEN OF EDEN, ILL TAKE THE APPLE Many tales of tramping exploits are boring. hole in the fuel This one isn't. This is a story of how 71 WTMC's tank, just a went on a Christmas trip up the Rakaia, over faulty gauge. I à the Garden of Eden and out to the West Coast argue that it is a via the Wanganui. "Easy" I hear you say. "Done sign from the it before, hundreds of times". While this is gods, pleading with us not to continue. probably technically true, what you haven't experienced is 10 metres of rainfall, much of The force of my argument becomes apparent which ended up in my pit. So read on for a tale when 4 hours later, a straggling line of figures of rain, despair, survival and rain. in PVC splash their way up the Rakaia. At times walking across the grass flats, you are up to To be truthful, the first disaster had nothing to your waist in water. Progress is mercifully do with the weather. It had something to do halted at Reischek Hut. About this stage our with the fact that Eric arrived in Christchurch radio crackles with a weather forecast (abject) driving a commodore station wagon into which and a plaintive request from another party 81 people and 71 huge packs had to fit. Tight it is, about routes up the Perth River in rain (also buti it is possible. abject). Enter stage left: the weather. There is a Two days later the rain pauses. We break out howling Nor'wester and buckets of rain in the and head up-valley for the Lyell Glacier. Fifteen Alps. So we unpack and camp our first night in minutes later we are halted by a raging Grant's house in Christchurch. The next day Reischek Stream. It begins raining. Geoff is hasn't improved at all, sO we're off. But as we adamant that we, can cross the stream using a repack and Julia practises her counting, we rope, but the more sensible party members are notice we're one ice-axe short. A quick already retreating back to the hut. Geoff must conference concludes that John's ice-axe is first demonstrate how to cross the stream with having an independent holiday in Picton a rope anyway. A couple of us humour him and (where I may add, it remained for the entire watch him surf on the whitecaps before reeling trip and reported that the weather there was him in, fighting like an oversized trout. "No substantially superior to that of the Alps.) worries" reports Geoff, wringing out his A frantic game of "who do you know in clothes from head to toe. Christchurch who could have an ice-axe" eventuates with the outcome that a friend of A new dawn and a strange and ominous light Struan's is awoken at 7 a.m. and parts with his. batters the hut. The others call it sunshine, but Iput on my PVC, just in case. Everyone feels So we're off (yet again). As we, pass by Mt Hutt like stretching their legs and so we race up the skifield we feel the first drop of rain. This is a Rakaia and cool off by doing a waist-deep river very significant point in the trip, since this is crossing at the mouth of the glacial lake below the time our count begins of how many the Lyell Glacier. Then it's hours of moraine continual hours of rain we experience. bashing until we reach the white ice. (Why is it However at 1,746 hours, we give up. As we that the only decent weather you get, is always advance up the Rakaia, it is raining about as on the steep, uphill bits?) Progress quickens hard as a high pressure hose. At this stage once more, sO Grant's boots immediately fall to Grant notices that the fuel gauge in our pieces. His Asolo's have been on one previous Commodore has suddenly fallen to empty. trip and now the sole has fallen off. (For a Hole in the fuel tank. We drive on, knowing it modest fee, I will remove the reference to the will be Debbie's problem to get the vehicle brand name.) Geoff is once more to the rescue back to the car hire outlet in Christchurch. and with a combination of Swiss army knife and nylon cord does a fair imitation of a Arrival at road end is a despondent affair. We cobbler. Grant's boots are right for the rest of cheer up a little when we discover it is not a the trip.

Someone has thel brainless idea of camping on Wes seti up a campsite and next day headed off McCoy Col, SO we plod up the snow to the top. for a day trip. Some of us headed for the Lovely views - but what are those black Garden of Eden. Just as we, got there, as far clouds racing towards us? Yes dear readeraway from our camp: as we could be, the another deterioration in the weather. The night weather packed up. Soon we could see nothing brings no rain, but lots of wind. Mercifully, and a heavy snow covered our tracks. Geoff however, the next day is okay. demonstrated his navigational powers with altimeter and compass and a few hours later, a There is a nasty steep section between McCoy very weary, wet and cold party returned to Col and Rangitata Col. Belaying this section camp. costs us a lot of time, sO by lunch we have: not made the second col. (In fact, lunch is held all The heavy snow soon turned to heavy rain. of 500: yards from the previous night's Harry suddenly blurted out one of those earth campsite.) While we gnaw at our Tararua shattering pearls of wisdom ; "What you have bikkies, someone points out that the viewisn't to understand", he said, "is that the universe is sO good. In facti it's starting to rain. With fundamentally vicious." As I turned this bit of compass and altimeter, we blunder through the philosophy overi in my mind it was gradually clag, finally tumbling over some pass and begin replaced by a roaring sound. One glance out of our descent to the Rangitata and the Frances the tent proved Harry right the rock ledge Glacier. Finally we emerge from thei murk onto upon which we were camped was rapidly filling the Frances Glacier moraine. True to form it is with water and all that saved the tent from chundering down from thel heavens. Our only being washed away, were drainage channels campsite option is the moraine, like some dug by Struan. picture of a squalid gold mining village. (Incidentally, by filling in thel hollows with Instantly 5 trampers grabbed ice-axes and set loose stones, you can make a very good to changing the face of Mt Lambert. Geoff and sheltered campsite that can't get flooded out.) Julia, camped on higher ground, spent a lot of More radio news: another party has abandoned time laughing from the shelter of their pits. their 5 day attempt to get up thel Rangitata and are heading for the Ashburton pub I lucky After that episode, we made a mad sprint for sods. the Wanganui River. After a rapid progress over apparently difficult terrain, we made one New Years day. A fine day greets us to entice us over Lambert Col and towards the Garden of Eden. By thei time we: reach Lambert Col the weather is already deteriorating. Struan calmly builds cairns SO that we can retrace our steps when thei inevitable occurs. We elect to head straight across. Lambert Glacier. Thei rope comes out once: more: as we, navigate across the glacier. Soon only one short section ofjumbled icel lies between us and a rocky bench. Geoff is in the lead and the last I see of his team on their rope is a body sliding into a crevasse. Our ropel hears much cursing and squeals ofi fear. Being cowards we look for an easier route and 5 metres away find a lovely ice ramp which sends us scurrying off thei ice to wait for Geoff and Co. They emerge sometime Somej fast digging (Photo: Harry Smith) later talking of dynamic bridging moves. final grunt to the pass that would take us to It think this little episode must have made: al big safety. Soon the advance party scrambles to the impression on Geoff as shortly afterwards, he pass: and awaits the others. Silence. No sign. walked to a bluff and threw his wind parka off Suddenly, from spires hundreds of feet above the edge. He then climbed down a thousand us, we hear falling rock. NO, they simply foot of rock to retrieve it. couldn't be that stupid ! Fortunately the A disturbance turned out to be 2 chamois. more moro bars, mars bars, pinky bars and Unfortunately, we soon found out why they some chips and back to our very smelly cabin. were disturbed, as mists parted to expose Serene dreams follow of the Interislander (yes, Harry perched on the top ofa al bluff yelling it was running) and a rapturous welcome "How did you get down there?" He did not home. The reality was a little more sobering, seem to comprehend that generally one goes but after 10 days in thel bush, even Railway pies up to aj pass - not down. Harry backtracked. taste good. Not sO Geoff and. Julia. This has been a story of a very wet trip, and We plunge downhill and come to a beautiful now, my retirement as I am now attending sheltered grassy flat just above thel bushline. crochet classes. Too beautiful to pass SO campi is declared. To hoots of derision Struan begins digging drains. The team: Eric "commodore King" Evans More news from other parties; some poor Geoff "Follow me...I think" victims are trapped on Garden of Eden, their Crockford tent blown away and they are calling for a Julia "lentil casserole" Fettes helicopter to ferry them from their snow cave. Hoots halt rapidly when we. hear the weather Harry "fog photo" Smith forecast which goes something like "Ha Grant "old boy" Wheaton Suckers! You ain't seen nothing yet! Hold onto John "long leg" Rhodes your] hats and cut holes in thel bottom of your feet. This is the big one." Struan "abject" Abject The driver: Debbie "can I drive it to By breakfast, the rain was hitting thet tent. We set off post-haste for Hunters Hut. Geoff, Invercargill?" Douglas missing a crevasse ofi ice, fell into a hole,and nearly broke his leg. The track marked on the map was no longer in existance since it was now in a wilderness area. So a delightful Westland bush bash followed. Finally - shelter a hut! Yes, a lovely 6 bunker that already had 7 people in it. We stayed there anyway - for 2 days. Naturally, since we are only half a day from the road end, the weather must turn beautiful. And so it did. Personally I was so sick of thej place that I would have settled for a holiday at Moa Point, but the others were. a little disappointed. Eric was particularly disappointed after "Struan" (Photo: Harry Smith) winching himself across a cableway and proceeding to run the winch over his fingers. P.S. The team wish to record that contrary to the impression given above, al bloody And then liberty. Picked up by taxi and good time was had despite the bad rushed to the Greymouth motorcamp and weather AND Struan's "retirement" Union Hotel for al huge feed. Then offt to lasted all of one month. He is back in the hospital to see to Geoffs leg, about a dozen hills, attracting rain clouds like a magnet.