Give Me Guinea Pig Over Lentils Any Day

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Give Me Guinea Pig Over Lentils Any Day Struan Little Some time ago, Andrew and Jo came back from overseas. Since then they have lived a life of Wellington workaday monotony. But to read the little gem located in this fine publication, you would think that they were still making their way on two cups of lentils a day over: some desolate part of the world. So I thought I would do exactly the same thing and recite some ancient history of my adventures in Ecuador, land of no lentils, but country of the Galapagos, the greatest nature paradise in the world. We didn't go to the Galapagos. W. flew into Quito with a plane-load of Americans and only just avoided being dragged onto a bus tour to see all of South America in 5 days. Our programme was what the ads Some people can't work out where the dry. spots are! Struan Little term as "flexible". We hadl bought a guidebook. So now, we quickly read the book to lucky as we freewheeled past knots of Zealand." This is how I met our raft determine where we could go beforel gringos whose brakes had failed, guide who was Angus from Auckland. came down with some deadly case of whose gears had slopped, and whose Bizarre. Iwonderedi how Angus got on food poisoning. About this pointlsaw rims wouldn't run. Our route was in the rapids since he didn't speak a the chapter heading "Banos". Well, it scenic, with one section through a word of Spanish. The answer was that pays to speak a bit of Spanish in waterfall. To get the correct photo no Ecuadorian ever went rafting. The Ecuador Here you do hear "Mira! Hay meant Marjory had to get wet several locals thought the whole thing was sick. llamas muertas!" ("Look! There are times. Oh dear. Then, further down And in our group, the closest we got to dead llamas!") Banos means baths, the mountain we stoppedto walk down a local was an Irishman, whose grip formed by natural hot springs gushing to another waterfall Immediately, a on the Mother tongue was distinctly out of snowcapped volcanoes. peasant appeared selling US bicycle weak. securitywith the warning that bikesgot Banosis a delightful place, perched on damaged if we didn't pay up. We crammed into an obsolete the side of the Andes with towering landrover and headed for the river I peaks above and a rapid drop into the For reasons not clear to me, we was promoted to raft leader. My job jungle. The temperature is ideal, albeit decided to cycle back up the hill. This was to set the paddle strokes and just a fraction warm to spend all day in was sillier than it sounds. Part of the bellow instructions. This was of big thel baths. Our first mission was to hire route was through ap pitch-black tunnel. benefit in the waves because when I mountain bikes for abit of real off-road tried to cycle it and crashed straight had a runny nose, I could yell for a action. Only problem is that the Andes into a wall. Predictably, suddenly a stroke, time the ejection of snot from a are a little steep. The recommended truck appeared in the tunnel, and we nostril, and pick up a huge wave to route is to hop on your decrepit bike were forced to shrink against the side. clear it off my face. Disgusting, know, and head rapidly downhill into the but this is the Third World. Just ask jungle, on the gravel road. After stuffing Safel back in Banos, we decided to sign Andrew about his lentil stories. yourself on tropical fruit, you look back up for a raft trip. In fact, the only raft up the several thousand feet toward tripinEcuador We worriedal little about It was great fun big standing waves, Banos and catch a local bus back safety and with some trepidation but nothing too ferocious. But like the again. dawdled our way to the meeting point Tararuas, the water was freezing and the next morning. As I walked down after a couple of hours we were glad I didn't think much of our bikes, but the street (in the rain), a cheery voice to escape back to town and a soak in soon discovered that we had been said: "Jandals. You must be from New the pools. TRAMPING & MOUNTAINEERING

Ofcourse, wel hadn't been trekking yet the huge neon cross that dominates Ecuador? About thel Equator, ofcourse. SO we felt obligedto go striding up the the town at night. We hadn't been there either. So we Andes. This is pretty easy. You start to hailed a cab and had the joy or walk up a steep path, which becomes After all this exercise, it was time to ordering him to "take me to the steeper, and after a few days you are party. First stop was for roast guinea Equator". Iwas not disappointed. You standing on top of a volcano. We, of pig andchips, a local speciality. When sort of expect to see a line crossing the course, had more modest ambitions: overcooked, their little teeth stick out ground and lots of tourists with onel leg the village of Runtun and a good place in a most revolting manner. More on each side. Thoughtfully, the loyal for a Coke. blamed the heaving of tomato sauce required. Then it was Government has provided just such a my chest on the altitude. Interesting on to hear some local music. So line, although the tourists arrive howt the altitude didnot appear to affect regular are the bands that move from unsubsidised. Marjory. pub to pub that you can check the time by working out which song is playing Talk about ribbon development: the What is impressive in climbing these in which pub. Equatorhas all sortsofti things on it, from alpine tracks that work their way up museums to bars. "Get pissed and impossibly steep hills, is to notice all And then a quiet bust trip back to Quito. collapse in another hemisphere," the around you thatt this is agricultural land. Butl hang on what is this? Itis a 50km ads could read. Crops of corn, and cows that have two bike race that is blocking the entire legs shorter on one side so they can Panamerican Highway. All traffic must After writing a few obligatory postcards, balance on the slope. "Hello, peasant. travel at the same pace as the slowest we clambered back onto abus to head Seen any dead llamas?" As we cyclist. This was something to admire; back to our hotel room. We were scrambled higher we suddenly came every inch of asphalt covered by satisfied that at last we could look upon a set ofSwiss chalets. This turned honking, frustrated drivers which others in the eye and say that we had out tol be aluxuryresort accessible only gradually banked up to kilometres on seen Ecuador They may have lived on by 4WD and the grovelly little track we end. The best part was that the lentils for six months, but didi they drop were on. Some vacation, Ithought. But constant starting and stopping made an ice cream on the Equator? This is the Swiss are a bit weird. many passengers sick, and soon the what real travel is about. sweet smell lofpre-used guinea pig and Finally, amongst the clouds, we hit chips flavoured the air Finally, we stood at the airport next to Runtun. A couple of shacks, a couple an American plane that had a of collapsed buildings, and the odd There we stood, backi in Quito. Wel had hamburger at the other end of it. Ah, rabid dog. No coke. No lentils. So we not visited the Galapagos and were the benefits of civilisation. Give me turned downhill on another route back splattered with bits of pre-used guinea guinea pig over lentils any day - but to the baths, stopping only to admire pig. What would I tell people about give me a cheeseburger first. Gavin and travelling companion contemplate the centre of the earth Struan Little TRAMPING & MOUNTAINEERING