Definitely Not Thirteen Hours

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Definitely Not Thirteen Hours John Rhodes Seven people feature in this tale: Eric Blumhardt, Harry Smith, Sue Jensen, Peter Wills, Phil Kendon and John Rhodes. Yes, you counted right. We never got to find out the other name, though it's important. Without that seventh person our trip would never have happened the way it did. n Friday night we were at Pine Valley roadend Trampers with Medium tendencies, however, somein thel Wairau, raring to go and waiting for Harry. times allow their minds to stray along paths lined by Harry was having trouble separating himself, snug bedclothes and dressing gowns and toast and cofphysically and emotionally, from Struan's Medium feel- fee and Saturday morning radio. Therefore, Harry said, ings and Harry's Fit feelings. In time, Harry detached I think I shall stop at Fishtail Hut. I think I shall get a himself from the Mediums. In the still, dark air at Pine bunk at Fishtail Hut before the Mediums arrive. I think Valley roadend, there was a stifled cry and a rending shall look down from my bunk at Fishtail Hut and see sound, as Harry's psychological allegiance with Medium what the Mediums are having for dinner. And ifl like tramping was torn asunder. the look of what the Mediums are having, think I shall We set off in the energetic way that trampers do when mention to them, in a casual passing sort of way, exthey want to impress the leader with their keenness and actly where my plate is. This could be of great assistfitness; and when the debilitation that is certain to have ance to the Mediums, Ithink, in the event that they may set in by Sunday afternoon (or earlier) cannot yet be have made too much dinner. Yes, I think that is what I imagined; and when there's a sneaky feari in the air that shall do, said Harry. Struan's declared intention to camp under flies at the We went on to Fishtail Hut. It was only 9.30 am. This roadend might only be to put you off your guard, and showed that we had enough speed and competence and Struan's Mediums might at this very minute be right on endurance to complete the tripl byl lunchtime, and enough your tail or sneaking past you through the trees on a time to send a summit party up Fishtail while others trail known only to Struan, to snaffle the six bunks at had a brew. the Pine Valley Hut. But we had the hut and the bunks The door had come off the hut, which faced south, to ourselves. For a bedtime story, Harry told us how directly into the teeth of the cold front that was coming DOC, for some implausible reason, owes him some that night. We left the door on the ground to make the improbably vast sum of money which he is recouping, hut seem lived-in and welcoming for Struan and his $4 by $4, by sleeping ticketless in DOC huts over the Mediums. However, the thought of sharing a doorless, next 35 years. south-facing, 4-person hut with eight Mediums in a Jo McKenzie and Andrew McLellan had said the first snowstorm now spurred Harry to reconsider his status. day of this trip took them 13 hours. We knew it could By mid afternoon, the Fits would be snug in Mt Fell Hut not possibly take us 13 hours; nonetheless, we thought with a mug of tea and a bunk each; and not long after, itwould be prudent to start early. We thought we should they would be eating Eric's chicken goulash and followallow for our pending exertions being towards the up- ing up with more tea. And the door would be shut. So per limit of ther range for Fit trips. This, according to the when the Fishtail party got back, full of stories about fine print on the trip schedule, is 11 hours. Therefore views that were definitely unavailable from anywhere (despite an expression of deep concern from Harry), Sue else, Harry had applied for and been granted reinstateset her alarm for 5am. ment as a Fit. By 7am on Saturday we had walked past lots of very But Harry had not consulted his body in this. And for dark scenery and there was just enough light to see that the last month, Harry's body had been sitting in Film we were going up a long long hill. It was the sort ofl hill Festival cinemas and eatingt fish and chips. Harry's body, that sensible Medium trampers spend all day getting had it been asked, may have expressed reservations up. However, Fits can climb hills of this kind by morn- about renewal of Harry's Fit status. ing teatime, especially if they get upi in the middle of the Wel left Fishtail Hut about 11.30 am, which was plenty night and start walking in the dark and drive themselves early enough to get where we were going in a leisurely to a state of premature exhaustion. manner and with time to spare. The route led up to the Exhaustion? Nothing was further from our minds. We ridge over scree and then around a bluff over more scree. reached the bushline and looked up at Mt Fishtail. It The scree was made of sharp rocks glued together with was steep, cold, and forbidding. Then we looked down ice, which made us slow; but this did not matter. Inat the Wairau Valley, where peoplei in comfortable farm- deed we were pleased to have the frozen scree to OChouses werel having a Saturday morning lie-in or getting cupy us, So avoiding the tedium of a whole afternoon at about in dressing gowns and making toast and coffee Mt Fell Hut. and turning on radios for the morning news. But we We got to thel bushline on the south ridge of Mt Fishwere Fit trampers, and Fit trampers do not have valley tail in twice the time wel had estimated. Never mind, we thoughts. said, it will be a whole lot quicker from here. The day Tramping and Mountaineering 1998

View southwest from Mt Fishtail John Rhodes was sunny and there was a stack of time before the south- ag great deal less than 600 metres deep. The Fishtail-Fell erly was due and we clearly had much more fitness and ridge in the Richmond Range is an order of magnitude competence and endurance than Jo and Andrew, who tougher. A tramper who wishes to understand this should had taken thirteen hours. The beech trees were small consider the principles of cartooning, in which signifiand close together and the tramping clubs of Blenheim cant features of the subject are exaggerated. Thus, when and Nelson appeared not to have cleared the track re- the Creator made the Fishtail-Fell ridge, He made a carcently. Or they had perhaps not cleared it at all. There- toon oft the Winchcombe-Neill by exaggerating the depth fore we went slowly and began to think of food. of its saddles. Harry now quoted from the Public Service Office We did not understand this. Or, perhaps the faintest Manual, which rules that public servants shall receive inkling was beginning to dawn on us, because we did thirty-seven-point-five hours of tea breaks per one hour not linger over Lunch One. There was still lots of time, of productive effort. We were getting behind on our tea we knew that for certain; but we wanted plenty of rebreaks, said Harry. This put us at risk of a breach of laxation at the hut before dinner. At about 1.30 pm, somecontract. If we went on like this, he explained, his body body said we had done about a fifth of the distance from (whose tea deficit had been only partially remedied by Fishtail Hut to Mt Fell Put. We had been going two hours. 1% hour's intake at Fishtail Hut) might take industrial Anyone with a statistical bent could make an extrapolainaction. A long break was necessary now, said Harry. tion from this; but the trip statistician was intent only This was overruled. Though it was in no way going to on his next tea break. We explained to one another that be thirteen hours, thanks to our fitness and competence we had now done the slow part and the going was about and endurance, the day might just possibly stretch to to improve. You could tell from the map that the travel nine or ten hours. We therefore elected to have two all the rest of the way to the hut would be excellent and short lunches instead of one long lunch, to nip in the fast. bud any sign of inaction by Harry's body. It ought to be No part of the Fishtail-Fell ridge is impassable or even possible to deceive Harry's body, we reasoned, into unduly difficult. But it has bluffy bits where you have to thinking that a short break was actually the first part of pass your pack. It has bits where things on the outside a longer break, thereby extracting more effort from it ofyour pack get immovably snagged on small trees growbefore it realised it had been duped. But Harry was not ing very close together. Immediately after each of these sure that his body could be SO easily fooled. And as usual, bits it has more such bits, where exactly the same thing Harry was to be proved right. happens again; and you have to say very bad words very We took Lunch One in a saddle 600m below Mt Fish- loudly if you are to get free. And the Fishtail-Fell ridge tail. Trampers who know the Neill-Winchcombe ridge has, as we have said, saddles. Each saddle has an uphill in the Tararuas might take note of this. Though the Neill- part to it. On these uphill parts, a tramper's legs start to Winchcombe has a tough reputation, its saddles area is say to a tramper, we've already done quite a bit of this Tramping and Mountaineering 1998 today, and please take this into account when trying to able, though still yearned-after, goal. We took comfort keep up with Phil. Yes, we were beginning to sort our- in the thought that Jo and Andrew, who had almost exselves out. Trampers who this morning had all looked actly as much fitness and competence and endurance like having much the same fitness and competence and as us, had taken thirteen hours. Thirteen hours must endurance, now seemed to fall into two categories. therefore be a respectable time; and if we could equal it Category One trampers were taking the whole trip in (as now seemed likely), then we should maintain our their stride. These trampers' supplies of fitness and com- status as Fit trampers. petence and endurance exceeded the requirements of It must have been about 4.30 pm, when we were still the trip. They spent much time at the front, finding the quite a way short of the last saddle, that we became way and waiting while others caught up. This category aware of the seventh person. Readers may now be exdefinitely included Phil. pecting an account of one of those mysterious spirits Category Two trampers, as the day wore on, found that are claimed to accompany travellers at times of their fitness and endurance to be not quite up to expec- extreme danger and fatigue. No. Our seventh being was tations. Nevertheless, they were not concerned because the un-named person, who months before had keyed in one might just as well have the odd rest along the way the 1998 WT&MC Autumn to Winter Schedule. It now as save all one's resting for the hut. This seemed sensi- became clear, as we made our faltering way through the ble to trampers in Category Two. shadows towards Mt Fell, that when this person came By about 3.15 pm the bodies of several Category Two to the weekend 14-16. August, he/she had made a tragic trampers were giving signs of needing Lunch Two. Dur- error. And we, the victims of the mistake, were the first ing Lunch Two, Category Two trampers were seen tak- to discover it. ing furtive looks at their watches and at the map, and furrowing their brows with arithmetical calculations. Phil was not furtive. He said, in a cheery way: look, we've Our flickering travelled halfthe distance through the bush already, isn't that good! But this remark served only to reinforce the torches were, like calculations and was received in silence. There would be no relaxing afternoon at Mt Fell Hut. We should probour bodies and spirits, ably get there just on dark. An awareness of this bleak reality percolated through almost collective extinguished our consciousness and congealed coldly there, like the ice in the scree on Mt Fishtail. If we kept moving we should get to the bottom of the last big saddle at The Schedule was supposed to say, "Mt Fishtail or Mt 4.30 pm. That left 1% hours for the 600-metre climb of Richmond. " Instead, the keyer-in, in a momentary lapse, Mt Fell and the descent to the hut. This unstated esti- had put simply: "Mt Fishtail-Mt Richmond.' ." Eric's party mate became part of the chilly apprehension that now was therefore doomed to act out an impossible script hovered among us. The only consolation left was that by climbing the two peaks in a single weekend. Imposwe were still (thanks to our fitness and competence and sible, that is, for all but super-trampers like Andrew endurance) a bit quicker than Jo and Andrew. McLellan and Jo McKenzie. From now on we had frequently to stop and wait. It was in this numb realisation that we continued, Phil, as a Category One tramper, found this hard to un- ever more slowly, to the 600-metre depths of the last derstand. At times one felt that beneath his unruffled saddle, whence could faintly be seen a light in the still English Gentleman exterior, lurked a streak of quiet im- distant hut window. Night closed upon us, and the aspatience. Was this, perhaps, because it had already OC- cent of Mt Fell began. curred to Phil that ifwe didn't get a move on, we might From this point, the journey became a turning point need torches for the last minutes before the hut? Had in our lives as trampers. It became for us a fire that the unspeakable thought even entered Phil's mind that forged bonds, which no Medium tramper could ever we may not arrive until five past seven, in which re- understand. It became a kind of trampers' Gallipoli, a motely possible case we should have taken thirteen defining experience and milestone in our developing hours? sense of Tongue and Meat-hood. It took on all the futil- Among Category Two trampers, a kind of contagion ity and all the magnificence of a failed military camwas going around. Its symptoms were a weak feeling in paign. Every few yards, strong men would fall to their the legs, a desire to stop, and a need for Moro Bars and knees. Others would cry for water. Any who chanced to Eric's PowerAde, intravenously applied. It required the be still on their feet would struggle to help the fallen identification, near the top of the afflictee's pack, of dense with Moro and PowerAde; and then the temporarily reobjects that could be moved to other packs. The curi- suscitated would rouse themselves and stagger on until ous thing about this affliction was that it struck one the next collapse. tramper at a time. No sooner had one casualty been After an interminable time, we emerged ragged and quasi-restored by judicious application of Moro and exhausted at thel bushline. The least barrier of scrub was PowerAde and mass transfer, than the affliction would now enough to foil our feeble attempts to surmount it. strike another. Thus was our progress delayed until ar- Our flickering torches were, like our bodies and spirits, rival at the hut before nightfall had become an improb- almost extinguished. Tramping and Mountaineering 1998

"The ascent of Mt Fell" John Rhodes Phil's body, however, seemed to have done no more old track-finding instincts and together, Harry and Phil than a half-hour stroll on level ground with a light pack. led us to the hut. It was six minutes past nine. We had His spirits were in equally good shape. Phil broke out been tramping for exactly fifteen hours. another 4.5 volt Energiser and raced ahead, stopping to Wel had shown thatJ Jo McKenzie and Andrew McLellan shine his searchlight back on the wreckage of Eric's once are supernaturally formidable trampers. And we had proud team, limping behind. Caught in the beam, a proved ourselves equal to any challenge thrust upon us tramper would sink to the ground and declare he could by the errata of those who keyi in the WT&MCt trip schedgo no further. In heroism born of despair, another would ules. take the victim's pack and carry it a few steps on top of The expected snow came, but not till the morning, his own until he too fell. When anyone managed to catch and it did not amount to much. By way of saying to trip up with one of the prostrate, everyone would prostrate schedule keyers-in, "So what? We can doi it,' three went themselves some more. Thus our entire little band came up Mt Richmond. Harry was among them. And we all regularly to long and painful halts. walked out to Timms Creek roadend in sunshine and on Except for Phil. Phil raced to and fro in the lead, ca- a track, which fortunately, was suitable for wheelchairs. joling and encouraging his companions and trying to While we waited for the bus carrying the Mediums, understand what had come over them. Why did we not we swore a solemn oath: arrive at thel hut two hours ago, thought Phil to himself? - 15 August shall henceforth be celebrated as Fishtail- Somehow we made our tottering way to the ridge off Richmond Day; Mt Fell and laboured down it towards the turnoff to the We shall tell our children, and they shall tell their hut. But no turnoff appeared. So began the last act of a children, and SO on for generations down the ages drama that was fast turning to tragedy. Was the hut on what happened on the first Fishtail-Richmond Day; which wel had pinned our hopes thel hut with six bunks Every year on Fishtail-Richmond Day, survivors of and a door and no Mediums, the hut in whose window, Eric's trip shall put on their suits and Fishtail-Richhours before, we had seen a flickering light to be mond badges and hold a parade and march-past at denied us? Were we to pass what remained of this frigid, which they shall salute Eric. Or maybe they ought to pitch-black night, on a desolate mountain without shelsalute both Eric and Phil. Oh yes, and Harry too, and ter, warmth or drink? Sue and Peter, and even John. Well, perhaps every- The tide of our aspirations and emotions was at full one will just march past and salute everyone else in ebb. But at stake was the one vital factor that could save a sort of glorious jumble, like the assault on Mt Fell us: Harry's cup oft tea. A final, desperate effort was called in the dark, way back in '98. And afterwards they for. Summoning undreamed-ofi reserves from who knows will all get drunk on Eric's PowerAde. Except for where, Harry joined Phil at the front. He roused all his Harry. Harry will have a cup of tea. Tramping and Mountaineering 1998