Abel Tasman Kayaking - Queen's Birthday

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Abel Tasman Kayaking - I Queen's Birthday The Group The trip can be summarised in a few words: blue skies, twinkling or shooting stars, open fires, hard frosts, clear waters, blue lagoons, dolphins, seals, shags, wine, philosophy and laughter... each day. Carolyn and seal pup, Abel Tasman National Park Charlie Batho ever was there a more qualified group of punters it, others moved picnic tables, opened the dips, and Allan to kayak the Abel Tasman. Three nurses, three ac- offered Chateaux cardboard. Before you knewi it we were countants, a civil engineer, seismologist, legal sec- tucking into white and dark chocolate fondue and retary, craftsman, computer programmer, marketer, con- skewering fresh fruit and marshmallows. sultant and a Frenchman. But some questioned their sea Carol showed off her fluorescent shoes. Shirley dried legs as the ferry rock 'n rolled even beforeit left Wellington her wet booties on the fire and nearly melted the soles. harbour. Shirley didn'tmove more than two metres from the fire as We looked like a cross between Teletubbies and space she had forgotten her hat and gloves. Charlie defended penguins as we kitted ourselves out with wetsuits, spray his weight. Harriet explained she was Year of the Rooster skirts, jackets, booties and sunhats and waddled down to (rather than a cheeky Monkey) and enjoyed strutting about thel beach with go-kart style trolleys. Abel Tasman Kayaks wearing red. instructed us for three hours before unleashing the sin- Simon and Oliver ran the length of thel beach with head gles and doubles after Shirley could finally paddle and steer torches, just to warm up, and then joined Paul, Charlie in the right direction at the same time. "it's like learning and Shirley on thel beach, sitting on tree stumps, contemto drive again, I she said. Ten minutes on the water and plating the stars, quantum mechanics, life and the unithe first dolphin was spotted which came within ten me- verse. Cloaked under a blanket of stars, with Oliver chairtres of fone kayak. Past Stilwell Bay, the Mad Mile, French- ing the discussion, we compared theories of Black Holes, man's Bay, Mosquito Bay, weaving in and out of coves, White Dwarfs, Alpha Centuria, why Orion is seen upside we finally arrived at Bark Bay campsite for high tide. down in NZ, the dark side of the moon, the relativity of The two-metre tides caused us to bring thel kayaks well time, space shuttle re-entry, humans' distinguishing feaup the beach. But no one told Shirley this. Suffering from ture to create fire, UFO sightings near Kaikoura, and the dehydration at 4am due to the raised temperatures in the probability (rather than possibility) of more advanced forms tent she went to get some water out of thel kayak and ran oflife. Stephen Hawkins would have been proud. Allan's back to the tent announcing to Oliver that thel kayaks had answer to the Meaning of Life was 42 though he had not been stolen. They were in fact 3 metres behind the tent. established the question. Like a well-oiled team some chopped food, some Sunday woke frostyl but a stunning orange and red cloudcooked, others collected firewood; Tom chopped it, Joel lit less sunrise set the scene for the rest of the day. Finally by Tramping and Mountaineering 1999

10am we set sail west towards Tonga Island. Pupseals in a shelteredlagoon playedi lin, around, under and sometimes on the kayaks during mother's s absence. The shags illegally fished in the marine reserve and finally the group washed up on Totaranui Beach for lunch sitting on driftwood; except Carol who made a good impersonation of an ostrich as her head and shoulders delvedinto a large yellow pack liner looking for a small item at the bottom which was nowhere to be found. Now itwas Simon's turn to take Tom's place and take Shirley under his wing in the kayak. Soon orders werel heard "left, right, left, right... YOU'RE NOT PADDLING!" echoing down the shoreline as Shirley checked her fingernails. What started as a poor paddle, languishing last, thrust Shirley and Simon into the lead as they powered away with such force that the front of the boat rose clear out of the water and they twice beat Sarah and Paul in a race. Exploring two lagoons at high tide, Carol and Caroline allowed Charlie to perch on the front of their kayaks to finally pluck up the courage to stand upright. The water was knee-deep! But then the frolicking really started. Rafting upin Anchorage Bay people were challenged to "walk the plank" round the seven kayaks. Charlie was first, followed byj Joe's nimble balancing then Paul, Carol (stranded when Allan pushed her boat out into the open coinci- Paddling calm waters, Abel Tasman Harriet Rooke dentally the same time that Paul lost his paddle) and finally Simon, who's weight totally submerged thel back which started Joe on a series of sexist jokes like "Why do of Carol's boat. As confidence rose, so did the dirty tricks women have smaller feet?" Caroline reminded Joe at this campaign. Sarah refused Charlie' s ultimatum that "ifyou point that being a theatre nurse she was sufficiently qualiloved me you'd do it". Harriet was too throttled to do fied to dissect a man on the picnic table with the blunt anything about it as people grasped her neck when pass- knife and infect him with giardia for good measure (since ing. shel had washed her hair in infected water). While part of the group was frolicking, Stephen and Monday was even colder. Wetsuits and kayaks had a Murraywerej paddling to campint the company ofap podof layer of ice on them. Even the beach had frost on it. If the eight dolphins slip-streaming beside andl beneath thel boats. cold hadn'twoken people up, the ducks at 7am having a Theyinquisitively peered up through the silk smooth wa- territorial battle had. Oliver nearly capsized when he tried ter until one moved in front andj jumped up. They stopped a singlel kayak out. Joe later did capsize as he slid on Carto enjoy the spectacle as the dolphins circled around. Ech- ol's water bottle after a "Joe style" running shove out. oes oflaughter were heard from the other side of the bay Rafting upandwalking round the boats again Murray demas the other bunch pranced about. onstrated his deadeye accuracy with his water pump. At Anchorage campsite donned flush toilets plus loo pa- last tea, juice and hot showers at the kayak base on per. More food, runs on the beach, cold showers, brief return, most welcome, although the undrained water in swims in green speedos (Simon) or was it swims in brief the shower didn't please Carol. speedos (Simon), the Meaning ofl Life and a few other sur- You knowit's been a good weekend when your clothes prises; Shirley had mistakenly left her knickers on top of smell of fire smoke, sleeves are covered with chocolate the tent and by 8pm they were frozen solid. Why were fondue stains, and you see the Easy trampers end their they on top of the tenti in the first place? trip sitting on a boat being pulled by a tractor on dry land. A possum was nearly caught eating Carol's nuts SO Perhaps your wish on seeing a shooting star had come Sarah and Harriet decided to go for a possum hunt until a true. It had. Dave Garratt sat quietly at the back of the twigt fell on Sarah making her squawk and Harriet scream. bus. The only casualty was Shirley breaking one finger- But at least Oliver hads seen his first live opossum which nail. And that, friends, is The Meaning of Life. Joe had volunteered to catch, skin and present as a fur coat to Harriet, the romantic bugger. Harriet started a The Group: Charlie (Captain), Sarah, Carol, Allan, Harriet, topical conversation by stating And that's the thing Joe, Oliver, Caroline, Murray, Paul, Stephen, Shirley, Simon, about men. They can't do more than one thing at a time" Thomas. Tramping and Mountaineering 1999