Nina's a Moan at Lewis, Easter 1999

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Nina's A Moan at Lewis, Easter 1999 Charlie Batho "When luse a word, Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, it means just what I choose it to mean neither more nor less" [Lewis Carroll). And SO the trip report is written. Heidi, Dave, Paul, Raymond & Glynne on the Sylvia Tops, Lewis Pass Charlie Batho e went to Lewis Pass but without Carroll. We profuse sweat persuaded them to look elsewhere for a W nearlywentwithoutl Heidi as well when sher nearly night's rest. Up went the flies, down went the sun, up "Didn't-Catch-a-Bus" ". All looked well at 1am went Lyndsay'st fire in smoke and down went food galore, Goodi Friday as the moon shone bright and cloud wisped including Charlie's 1.5kg rock melon = andi itr really was. in the valley. By 2am there was a steady drizzle which But no one dare admit to Raymond in bringing along raw, didn'tstop until 24 hours later. uncooked chicken. "No, no, said the Queen, sentence first "Begin at the beginning, thel King said gravely, andgo on verdict afterwards. till you come to thee end, then stop. " Raymond's original Day two started with a debrief from the Colonel, now objective involved crossing the Main Divide at Mt known as The Master, about the intricacies of bush-bash- Boscawen, traversing alonga a bony ridge 20-km long and ing up a steep slope. Glynne graciously volunteered to be arriving at Lake Sumner. This looked extremely Doubtful the first victim as he donned his gortex top, hood done up since there was no Hope in accomplishing this given the and velcro tight on the chin as the sun shone, slope steeptimeandi terrain. But Raymond's initial instructions included ened and he picked thel line of least resistance. A mental a "get-out" clause, pending terrain and weather. fatigue break allowed thel lead to change three or four times Dayone there was a near uprising when Dave Garratt, until we reached thel bushline. the Court Jester, suggested that we retire to the hot pools "Will you walk a little faster, said the whiting to the snail, for the sake of drizzle. It was a unanimous "yes" verdict there's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my by the Court until the Red King arrived, in the form of tail. " Raymond's "chop chop" instructions brought an end Lyndsay, after dropping the bus off at the hot springs. But to any complacency. as time moved on and so did we. A all did go to plan, progressing up the Nina River, except slight change of plan on the tops saw us traversing below Paul falling in the river in cycle shorts which gave him a cascading bluffs to reach Devil's Den Saddle. The afternasty rash in an embarrassing place by the end of the day. noon sounded likei injection day at thel local school as yelps We arrived at Nina Bivy (2-person hut) to find two were heard from touching Spaniard grass. One altogether people already there. But not for long as Dave's illuminous longer howl was generated from Kim as she lost all balin-your-facel bright orange thermal top (which coincidently ance and sat on a Spaniard though refused to accept ofwas on sale at Kathmandu) and Raymond's grunting and fers of first aid treatment. Another yelp was heard from Tramping and Mountaineering 1999

Another great campsite Raymond Morgan The Master as Raymond accidentally dislodged a rock from age to phone Eva from the tops to ask what the views higher ground. Ther rock was larger than yesterday's melon, were liket from her office. From where we were standingit which passed within two metres of Lyndsay making was panoramic views in every direction, notably Mt Raymond feel like a bitof one. Gloriana and Faerie Queene to the north and vindictive Devil's Den Bivy (2-person) again allowed Michael and looking mountains southwards. Kim to stay under cover. More food, fires and fruit salad Another Master instruction course on navigation and and sincei it was The Master' 'sl birthday, brandy snaps. But compass bearings took us down an unmarked spur, led the pyromaniac made wax bombs by adding water to the by Glynne and Heidi and ultimately byLyndsay, to a walkboiling wax (not to be attempted without an Old Fart) to wire bridge which cost Charlie a beer when Lyndsay create flames ten feet high as Raymond and Charlie took teleported us to within ten metres of a dismantled wire long exposure photos behind large tree: stumps. bridge after a 650-metre bush-bash descent through thick "Curiouser and curiouser! cried Alice. " Dave Gbivvied forest over two hours. out again that night and nearly got trampled to death in "The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many the morning as the curry kicked in. The stampede nearly things, ofshoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages knocked his espresso coffee maker over which was his and Kings. And that was the end. More good food, esform of (highly effective) bribe to thel leader for not having presso coffee, open fires, farting Raymond's grunting to carry a fly. Instead his penance was a bottle of Kahlua reflections at the campfire which stays within the four for dessert and use of an old plastic vodka bottle for wa- walls... except there were no walls, SO we discovered why ter. Coincidently, this jester is thel leader of the cycle wine Michael considered himself a tax dude rather than a tax trail of Martinborough and who shared bacon butties with geek, why Raymond was known as "Ten Hands Raymond" thel leader each lunch time. after a Treasury team bonding session, and why Angela Dave McD caught some sun on "SunDay" which is confessed to dreaming that we were all budgets anda asked surprising for someone who runs a window tinting busi- us to line up and explain our differences (Treasury!). ness. The sunburn didn'th help as we bush-bashed through "Everything has got a moral, ifonly) you can find it. "The alpine scrub on day three above Devil's Den Saddle. He final day was only a 30-minute walk out, except for Glynne was even heard to mumble "I've had better times at the who got lost coming back to the flies from a toilet excurdentist" as he followed Charlie's route through the scrub sion and walked in the wrong direction for 45 minutes rather than up a small gully. By this stage, Heidi the cellist until he found us again. No wonder he talks to himself was being blamedi for every male communication from the sometimes. And Dave G nearly dissolved in the Maruia lower torso. Surely she was a ventriloquist? "Enough's hot pools after two hours' soaking and had to ask for a enough boys, change your tune!" And that we did. gin, lime and lemonade to be brought tol him for re-hydra- "Now hear you see. It takes all the running you can do, tion purposes. to stay in the same place. Ifyou want to get somewhere else, you must run twice as fast as that. " A perfect day on Punters: Raymond (leader), Charlie (Poirot), Lyndsay, Dave Slyvia Tops. Sun shining. Raymond swimming in the tarn Garratt, DaveMcDowell, Heidi, Paul, Glynne, Michael, Kim, under severe peer pressure. Raymond trying to find cover- Angela. Thanks again, Raymond. Tramping and Mountaineering 1999